Five years ago, if you’d told me that I’d be playing on a praise team, working at a church, and married to a pastor’s kid, I’d have told you that you were crazy. But, God has blessed me more than I had ever thought possible.
I grew up in a Christian home, accepted Christ at a young age, went to a Christian school, I was a good little Christian kid. Then in Grade 11, I started at the public school. I made friends there that did things that seemed to me to be way more fun than the things my Christian friends were doing. My new friends treated me better then my Christian school friends had.
I came to the conclusion that there was a God, He was good, but I didn’t see why I had to do anything about it. I started living how I wanted to live, not thinking about any consequences. Apparently my choices did have consequences, and a couple months into my grade 12 year I found out I was pregnant.
Four weeks after I graduated, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I’d like to say that I learned my lesson after that. I’d like to say that I changed my ways. That simply is not true.
I went through a series of unhealthy relationships and got hurt a lot. I was ashamed of the way I was living but I did not know how to get out of it. I started down the path I like to call “I Don’t Care”. I shut myself off of all emotions. I turned my heart to stone so that I never again had to feel pain. After that, it was like I was watching my life. I was no longer involved in it, I just watched it happen, and didn’t really care what happened. I didn’t care who I hurt, because it didn’t matter to me. I spiraled into a deep, dark pit of insecurity, loneliness, and shame.
In early 2004, God wouldn’t leave me alone. He kept showing me my sin and kept showing me how to get out. He told me to leave my wicked ways and pursue the path of righteousness. I applied to Briercrest Bible College and was shocked that I was accepted. I’d thought it was laughable that a person like me would get in, since I laid out for them all the reasons not to accept me. I left the place I was living and moved back to Terrace for the summer. It was then that I met the man who would one day be my husband.
God started to soften my heart that summer. While at Briercrest, I saw an ad in the school newsletter that stated that seminary counseling students were looking for “patients”. Something made me apply. I started to see a man once a week that did his best to cure me of my “I don’t care” attitude. He had some great insight and with the Lord’s help showed me how to get out of my pit.
God taught me a lot about Himself that year. He taught me the power of His forgiveness and His grace. He showed me what a real relationship was supposed to look like.
I have been saved by the blood of Jesus. My past has been forgiven and that means so much to me. I did not deserve to be forgiven; I was forgiven because of the selfless act of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. My Savior is now my dearest and closest friend. He knows me deeply and He loves me deeply.
I am here today because I want to be baptized in obedience to God. I am rebellious by nature and have been putting it off. The Lord has been laying it on my heart though, and I want to obey. Acts 2:38 says, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”
